


Not Very Sexy

by Dandy



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Sex, Farting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 20:26:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17029452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dandy/pseuds/Dandy
Summary: Rei was pretty sure his heart stopped beating completely. Really, he would have preferred the sweet and sudden embrace of death than anything that could possibly come next.This was undoubtedly the most not beautiful thing he’d ever done in his life.





	Not Very Sexy

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on April 29th, 2015 as an anon kinkmeme response.

“Ah- Rin, right there-“

“You like that, huh?”

“Yes! Please- aah!”

Rei leaned his head back on the pillow, moving one hand up to try and muffle his very cliché moaning. He’d been nervous about being the bottom for the first time, but Rin had been slow and gentle with him to begin, easing him into it. But once they’d gotten started, Rei found he quite enjoyed it – there was some pain, but the pleasure quickly outweighed it. It hadn’t taken long for Rin to speed up, the gentle romantic of earlier replaced by a predatory shark, and Rei loved every second of it.

He gave only the lightest of protests when Rin pulled his hand away again, staring up into hungry eyes and a wicked grin. His body thrummed with the sensation of each thrust. “Don’t do that.”

“But what if someone hears-“

“I want them too.”

“Riiiin,” Rei moaned, too loud, and reached up with his hands to touch his boyfriend’s chest, eagerly accepting when Rin leaned in to nip at lips already swollen full from attention. The actual chance of them being heard was low (they’d chosen a Sunday afternoon while most of the dorm was at a basketball game for that very reason), but the threat of being discovered was still enough to give Rei a thrill as his voice filled the air.

A moment later he was echoed by another sound, though not the kind he’d ever wanted to hear. It happened so fast, he hadn’t even had time to try and hold it in. It burst forth of its own accord, as though it were the star of the scene.

A fart.

A loud one.

Rei was pretty sure his heart stopped beating completely. Really, he would have preferred the sweet and sudden embrace of death to anything that could possibly come next.

This was undoubtedly the  _most_  not beautiful thing he’d ever done in his life.

Rin paused in his attempt to devour Rei’s lips, probably because he was so disgusted that Rei had passed gas on his dick (really, he was just concerned by the way Rei had suddenly frozen underneath him). He pulled back, taking in Rei’s pale complexion, eyes wide as though in terror.

Before Rin could ask what was wrong, another offending burst of air escaped Rei’s posterior, and he connected all the dots.

Later, he would think back and realize he could have thrown Rei a bone and written it all off as the squeaking of bedsprings, but in the moment he was too amused by how flustered Rei looked, the paleness quickly replaced by a growing blush.

Rin couldn’t help but chuckle, resuming his thrusting now that he knew the source of Rei’s distress. “I must be fucking you good, huh?”

He stopped, though, when Rei continued to lie completely still underneath him, eyes still wide and panicked. Like he was still trying to process what had happened.

Rin frowned a little at that – seriously, it was just a little fart, what was the big deal? “Rei, are you gonna make me do all the work here, or-“

“I’m so sorry, Rin-san!” Rei suddenly squeaked, covering his face with his hands. He sounded completely mortified, trembling a little. Rin couldn’t help but scowl at the return of the honorific; so far, Rei only dropped it during sex, which he’d thought they were still having.

“It’s fine,” he huffed, giving another half-hearted thrust. He’d been so close, too, but Rei’s sudden behavior was pushing him further and further from the blissful throes of an orgasm.

“It’s not fine!” Rei insisted, still hiding behind his hands.

“Yes it  _is_ , Rei! It happens sometimes, it’s nothing to get so worked up about.”

“I’m getting worked up because it was completely and utterly not beautiful of me to do something like that!” Rei screeched, and despite his earlier words, Rin found himself shushing Rei, trying to quiet him down. Rei lowered his volume a smidge, but it would still be audible to anyone passing by the door. “I let myself do something so crude and unseemly and I let it happen without so much as a fight! I… I passed  _flatulence_  on your penis and now you think I’m disgusting and you’ll never want to have sex with me  _again_ -“

“Rei, seriously, calm down!” Rin snapped, already fed up with his boyfriend’s nonsense. He could feel himself going limp as they continued to talk about this. “It’s  _not_  a big deal! You’re being overdramatic!”

There was a pause, a long pause, where Rei said nothing, and then Rin heard a choked sound come from behind his hands.  _Shit, is he_ crying _?_ , Rin thought, frantically trying to pull Rei’s hands away. He hadn’t meant to start that. He’d wanted this to be a good experience for both of them, but now his boyfriend was in tears and Rin wasn’t sure how they’d gotten to that point.

He knew it was time to stop yelling, though. As ridiculous as Rei was being, getting angry wouldn’t get them to the heart of the issue any faster. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he said softly, “I’m sorry for yelling. Please look at me, Rei. You’re not disgusting.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Rei let Rin move his hands, though he didn’t meet Rin’s eyes. His own were distinctly teary, and Rin sighed again.

“Do you want to stop?” Disappointing, but Rin wasn’t about to force Rei to continue in this state.

The offer seemed to shake Rei a little, and he sniffed, reaching up to rub at his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?”

“No, of course not,” said Rin, reaching up to run a hand through Rei’s hair. As annoyed as he was, Rin had to concede that on their list of terrible sexcapades, this wasn’t nearly so bad as the time he’d bitten down on Rei’s dick. Still, Rei looked one wrong word away from fleeing entirely, so Rin had to tread carefully. “It really isn’t a big deal to fart during sex.” Rei flinched, but Rin soldiered on. “I mean… I did last time. And you didn’t mind that, right?”

“I don’t even think I noticed,” Rei admitted, still not looking at Rin’s eyes. “But this was my first time being penetrated by you. I wanted to remember this afternoon as something beautiful! And now all I’ll ever remember it for is… you know.”

“If you’d just kept going, I wouldn’t have noticed, either.”

“But  _I_  would know!” Rei insisted, for the first time looking at Rin. “I would know that I completely sullied this experience by- mmph!”

Rin, having decided that Rei was only going to rile himself up if he kept going, kissed him, gentle this time, teeth put away. His hand massaged at Rei’s scalp where it was still tangled in his hair, a soothing motion. After a moment, he felt Rei relax, just a bit, underneath him.

“You,” he began when he was done, pulling away from Rei again but not stopping the rhythm of his fingers, “are way,  _way_  too hard on yourself.”

And it was true, really. The expectations Rei placed on himself as a lover were beyond what even the most experienced sex fiend could meet, much less a high school student still learning what he was doing and what he enjoyed. Rin should hve realized this, when he was the bottom, from the almost methodical way Rei topped, but it had felt so good he hadn’t even thought about it at the time. Maybe if he had, he could have talked to Rei about this sooner.

Then again, it might have still been a conversation they could only have this way.

“I just want to be good,” said Rei softly, and Rin chuckled.

“Trust me, Rei, you’re great.” Rin kissed him again before he could protest. “There are no complaints here. But this has to be fun for you too, you know?”

He frowned a little, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. “I mean, I want you to feel relaxed with me. I  _am_  the guy with a dick in your ass-“ he ignored Rei’s squawk “-so your comfort’s really important to me. I want you to have a good time. So don’t stress about stupid things like farting, okay? It’s gonna happen sometimes. You’re only human.” 

Getting his predatory grin back, Rin leaned down, planting sensual kisses at the base of Rei’s neck. “An extremely and unfairly  _gorgeous_  human, but still human,” he said when he looked back up, and Rei blushed, though it wasn’t so much from embarrassment this time. Rei’s reactions to being called beautiful or any variation thereof were hot, and Rin enjoyed exploiting them.

Rei took a deep breath, then said, “I  _did_  read that sometimes… flatulence occurs due to the stretching of the-“

“Yeah, because of that.” They really didn’t have to go into that much detail… “See? It happens to the best of us.”

“I… You’re right, Rin.” Rin was pleased by the dropped honorific. “I should relax. I’m not perfect, and I don’t have to be.”

“You  _are_  perfect, just not in the way you’re so obsessed with being,” Rin corrected, and was pleased when Rei laughed, just a little. He rewarded him with kisses to his lips and jawline.

“…If you’re still up to it,” Rei ventured after several seconds of kissing, pulling away from Rin despite his groaned protests, “I didn’t really want to stop. I was enjoying it.”

“Yeah, I guessed that much,” Rin said with a smirk, though he was already rolling his hips, trying to stimulate himself back to full hardness. He definitely wanted to finish what they started. “Just relax, Rei. I’m taking care of you today.”

Rei’s pleased giggle turned into a moan, as he leaned his head back on the pillows again. They moved back into the rhythm they’d worked up earlier, with Rin occasionally nipping at Rei’s lips, whispering to him, “Come on, I want to  _hear_  you…” 

Years later, Rei would remember the whole day as a beautiful moment after all.


End file.
